BUCHINGER DIARIES – DAY TWO

BUCHINGER DIARIES DAY 2

Woke up this morning and took hot steaming cup of pee to the lovely Helga.  ‘Aaaah Zzzooo Mrs Moooounayerrrrrr, ve zlip aulright’ crooned the lovely Helga.  ‘Noooo veee did not zplip aulright.  Ve tossed und turned all night long’ I replied.  ‘AAAAAAA vell, you vill zlip better tonight’.  End of conversation.  Achtung!  Please to disrobe and get weight.  OH…MY…GOD…it’s a bloody miracle Helga I’ve lost three (count them 3) kilos since Monday.  It is VAAATER, only VAAATER Mrs Moooounaaayeeerrrr, no need to get eggzited!

Well I was eggzited and started to jump up and down until I felt a twinge in my back, whereupon I immediately calmed down and put it down to pre-fasting psychosis.

 THERAPY
After my rendezvous with the lovely Helga, I had an appointment with the beauteous Mrs B, the beautician.  The salon in Buchinger is no different to any salon in the rest of the world.  It is a hotbed of gossip, catty talk and dissension.  Mrs beauteous Mrs B it seems is not happy with the management of Buchinger who, in her opinion, are not as clever or up to date as she would like.  I got her whole life story in five minutes flat and was told my whole life story in the same amount of time.  Amazing how people can read your life story from popping black-heads on your nose!

Followed Beauty session with an Osteopathy session which brought a little relief to two days of unrelenting pain.

DIET
Morning                                       cup of Apple of tea

Lunch                                            Apple Juice

Rest hours 11.30-2 pm          Liver Compress

Mid-afternoon                           Herbal Tea

Dinner                                           Soup

Plus 3 liters of waters

WEATHER
Crap.

BUCHINGER108
OVER & OUT


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